Easy steps for controlling emotions
Ever experienced situations where our emotions controlled us rather than us controlling our emotions? I think all of us felt that before. Like the last time you lost your temper and unnecessarily got upset. Or when you were so nervous you couldn’t even complete a sentence.
First of all understand that emotions are here to serve us. Emotions tell us what is going on and makes life more interesting and colorful. Emotions are like signals and warning signs. For example when we feel angry it shows that something is not right. When we feel frustrated it means that things can be better. And so on.
However it is when we become too emotional or easily influenced by emotions that problems start to arise.
What we don’t want to do is ignore, avoid or suppress our emotions. Rather, we should acknowledge our emotions whenever it comes upon us. Try to understand and be aware of the message that the emotion is trying to tell us. Then proceed to respond to the message in the best way we can.
Remember that your emotion is the messenger, not the enemy. It just communicates the bad news to you.
The steps to controlling emotions;
1. Break the pattern and disassociate
Whenever you feel a rush of emotions, immediately disassociate from it. Don’t let it overcome you and don’t indulge in the emotion. Rather, quickly break the pattern of the emotion and don’t make it personal. Step outside yourself and be like an external party observing what is happening.
The important thing is to make sure you do it immediately. This prevents the emotion from gaining momentum and becoming stronger.
To break the pattern of the emotion, one way is to jolt and surprise the brain so much that the intensity of the emotion is drained away. To do so, you must do, think or say something that is totally bizarre and unexpected. So much so that the brain ‘forgot’ that it was for example, feeling angry a moment ago.
2. Be curious and try to understand the message of the emotion
Once you have disassociated yourself from the emotion, you can now assess the situation objectively. Without any emotional influence, ask yourself questions such as these ;
What emotions did I feel just now?
What happened a moment ago?
What does this imply?
Why did I feel this way?
What did I have to believe in order to feel this way?
What needs to happen for me to feel better?
Just stay curious through the whole process. Don’t let it get personal. Use a questioning and curious tone when asking those questions. This keeps you in a curious state throughout the questioning.
Those questions will help you discover the message of the emotion you are experiencing. You will know why you feel that way, and what to do about it. By making sure that you are neutral before you start analyzing the situation, your assessment won’t be influenced by emotions.
3. Decide what to do about it
The last step is to decide your response and follow up action. It may be something that you have to do, communicate or even think for you to get what you want. Remember, sometimes all we need to change is our mindset and perception.
As long as you remain disassociated from the emotion, your decision will rarely go wrong. By assessing the situation in a clear mind, you will know that the solutions you came up with are objective.
Use those 3 steps to help in controlling emotions. Like many things, controlling emotions is a matter of habit. It will be harder at first but the more you practice it, the easier it becomes. Do it consistently and it will become a natural habit to respond to any negative emotion in an empowering manner.
Other Related Posts
« Who Else Wants To Know More About Used Cars? | Home | Fundraising Jobs »
Leave a Comment