Perfection in a Marriage Only Causes Guilt
I think that it is true that a woman can have and do it all. The catch is that we cannot do both at the same time. The dream version that we have of the perfect woman, wife and mother is just that- a dream, not a reality.
I have met many kinds of women in my years of traveling. I have never met one who was all of these 3 things at once. Yes, it is conceivable to be a successful career woman, have a wonderful marriage and be a devoted mother, but not possible for all of these things to exist simultaneously. If a woman claims to be able to do this, she is lying.
To have a successful life, you must make choices. Women who examine their situations and make choices, are successful when they prioritize. When a woman tries to be like her mother was or what she thinks society would like her to do, she is not making the best choice for her. If you do the opposite thing your mom did or the same thing your best friend does, you have to do what is right for you. What makes you happy and fulfilled is the best choice for you.
Many women have told me that they feel like failures and they are not living up to expectations when they are doing something they would rather be doing the opposite of. They feel unfulfilled and unhappy. I had an email from Emily, who purchased Light His Fire and Light Her Fire, she writes, “Being a good mother was my first priority but for the past few years, I’ve been buried by diapers. Having three children all under the age of five has consumed all of my time. It was my husband’s idea that we get both programs and concentrate on each other for a while. We had begun to feel like strangers. Now it’s time to get back being a wife.” Many letters have come to me saying the exact opposite situation, but same result.
If a woman has a career and is focusing on that, she cannot possible take care of the house and cooking and children as she could if she were home. The same is true if you are concentrating on your husband, you cannot only pour yourself into your children all the time. My program will explain more on this subject. The key is stop trying to be s supermom or superwomen and your guilt will dissipate.
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