Gaining Self Confidence And The Misconception Of It
In my daily life I can see many people seeking to gain self confidence. Unfortunately by observing them, I feel that most will not achieve what they want. It doesn’t matter how much effort they put in, what books they read, what strategy they use, or which expert they learned it from.
This is because a lot of people have a misconception about gaining self confidence. To them, it’s you either have confidence or you don’t. They keep seeking for it with the expectation that one day they will finally ‘get’ that unstoppable confidence.
They think that by reading enough books, practicing enough exercises and so on, they will one day have that unstoppable confidence which gives them courage and drive them to take on life like never before. To them, they view confidence like a magical object to be obtained. Only when they have it will they be transformed into a different person.
Unfortunately many will discover sooner or later that they cannot achieve the kind of supreme level of confidence no matter how hard they try. The reason is simply because of this, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS BEING SUPREMELY CONFIDENT!
We tend to think that people who look, act and talk confidently are just born that way. That it’s just part of their nature. People like to think that if only they had the confidence of a Tony Robbins, Nelson Mandela or Donald Trump, then they would be just as successful of these successful individuals.
That is not true. No matter how smart, successful, talented or capable someone is, no one is absolutely free of doubt. Michael Jordan has doubts, so does Einstein, Leonardo Da Vinci, and everyone else. So if it’s true that supreme confidence is unattainable, then how come those successful people seem so confident? How come they’re so sure of themselves? How did they become so successful if they didn’t have it?
Well, they may not have that supreme confidence that many assume they have, but they do have one thing that sets them apart from everyone else.
The difference is that these individuals are aware that absolute confidence cannot be achieved. So unlike many others, they don’t wait until they are confident enough, they don’t wait until they are ready, until they have no doubts, until they are sure of themselves.
They take action even though they are still unsure and not 100% prepared. Cause let’s face it, we can prepare as much as we can, but we will never be 100% ready in any situation. Successful people are courageous enough to take action even when uncertain. If you want to be totally confident before you even attempt something, you can bet that you won’t be attempting many things.
This understanding is important as it helps break the biggest barrier to gaining self confidence. By knowing that supreme self confidence does not exist, and by realizing that even the most successful people have doubts, fears, insecurities, etc - we will recognize that we have as much potential as them.
Know that we will never be free of doubt. We will never reach the point where we’re totally ready and confident. Gaining self confidence is through doing and not preparing.
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