Your Teen Just Stated Dating. What Do You Do? Talk and Listen to Your Child.

Monday, October 27th, 2008 James Cavalier

My teenage kid goes on a first date! Oh, no! If this is your reaction, then you have come to the right place. We know you know a lot about dating, but a little bit of advice on the matter will do you good, you will see.

What kind of memories do the first dates bring to you? Was it bad, with a partner turning to be a jerk? Was it good, with all that is good in a day, stomach butterflies included? No matter how your personal answers are, you still need to make time to prepare your teenage kid for the first date.

There will be ups and downs, and your job as a parent is to be there for your teen and guide them in this new interaction with their peers.

The best preparation for teen dating starts at home. Young people base their expectations on the model you provide. Long before teen dating comes into their consciousness, kids see how their parents interact. Issues like respect for each other, compromise, privacy and assertive behavior are demonstrated at home between parents. When you and your partner have arguments, they are usually resolved in a compromise, with a little give and take on both sides. These are social skills that will help them in the teen dating scene.

Approach teen dating with confidence. Giving supportive guidance without being intrusive and keeping them safe are your primary goals. Here are a few ideas to get your teen started in the dating scene.

Encourage double dates or group activities for starters. This makes it easier for your child to get into the swing of teen dating. A double date at the county fair allows both girls and boys to be more relaxed with one another and just have fun. Both boys and girls have someone of their own gender to chat with if self-conscious or nervous feelings surface. A group of boys and girls going bowling or to the skating rink is another good choice. It will help them build confidence in teen dating.

It is hard for a parent to not act intrusively when teen dating is involved. You used to talk to your child about everything, but you will notice that they are more timid now and there are things that they are not so happy to talk about. Gain their trust and let them know you are there to help them, without asking awkward questions.

Being non intrusive does not mean that you should let everything blowing in the wind. Try to approach your child with care, don’t scare them away and start up a conversation about teen dating and the aspects involved with it. Let them know that alcohol and drugs will get them into trouble and teach them how to stay away from them. Assure them that they can call you and ask for your help whenever something like this happens, without them feeling scared that they will get a severe punishment when they get home with you.

Put your best foot forward in guiding your teen, and chances are their teen dating experiences will be happy ones.

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